A conversation with silence. A colloquy with reticence. Tinted wisdom seeps through the humid air in the dusk room and through his parted lips. Words echoed against untouched space and repetition burned his skin. He sat, unmoved, however, and took the affliction valorously with his spine curved over his imperfect torso, filled with imaginary aliment to promise his dying body imagined energy. His dark hair had no movement to it because although he spent most of his time at the bottom of his tub, it never got washed. The oil residing on his exposed skin only made the fire touching him burn more.
He sat in stillness for so long that his bones began to grow together and his eyes dried to represent stone. What no one would notice was that inside his statue, his mind raced a war against the silence around him. It slowly became aware to his soul that he didn’t know where he was. The place he once understood to represent refuge became undistinguished to his conscience. He sat unmoved because one breath would force him to accept that body he hid in was his and that his life had come to socializing with silence. Reverence only lasted as long as his mind could hold its breath, before it started to spill and overflow. Silence only had so much capacity that his reflections filled the space until it burst at the seems, leaving no room for movement. Not even a breath could fit in the tight air that held silence.
Silenced conversations are ignorant to the fact that its counter has something to claim. Its identity suppresses him while surrounded and his chin raises slightly to allow subtle breaths. A friend better than death and an enemy worse than life, silence persists.
The shadows against the white washed walls moved leisurely and he placed himself in the mind of the one thing he could see that never took up space. It was disburdened from anything but what stood between itself and the light. It was hidden from veracity all its life. How sad, he thought, to exist with restriction to what was held in the light. Bliss of ignorance came with a heavy price. But as he sat, restrained by consuming silence, he found noise breaking open the seams of his closed room. He blinked and his neck turned stiffly to notice shadows that belonged to noise under the crack in his door. Air was allowed into his lungs as the air shifted to compensate the movement that traveled and broke silence. All it took were mummers of his friends on the other side of the door to break the chains that held him in his silence. A once lonely space started to fill with the hope that a conversation with reticence was no longer holding him in its stare. His movement brought the springs under his mattress to squeak and silence was stabbed again. Repetitious thoughts turned into continuous sounds that defeated the quiet.
Distraction proved its authority and as his reality caught up, he became aware of the door’s vibration and the sound that followed. His voice still gathering, he opened the door to witness three worried sets of eyes looking directly at his dull eyes starting to find moisture.
Scars that always last
Brand art a cast away
That grasps fast and
She entered her cell
Helpless. Her eyes settled, free,
Except the hell fence held her
His lips kill this kiss,
I find him lying within his sin.
I wish I hid this pill
In his dying mind.
Lost boys only wore gold crowns
On top worn locks;
Wounds not to stop works
Lungs murmur ugly truths.
Cut unjust dusk,
Numb suns sung
The mirror shows not hypocrisy, sin, values, nor weaknesses.
You open your body to regurgitate lies that give you glory
But let yourself see who you truly are and not who you pretend to be.
Because broken crowns only fit broken people. You are not worthy enough of anything more than what you can give yourself; that is a flawed perspective of grace.
What does grace mean if you are worthy of it. You’ll only continue to lie to yourself just to put at ease your restless, wandering soul.
The pressure you take on from being a chosen one will blind your discernment and feed your fleshed temptations.
The choice seems easy when you choose to give in. Your tendencies gravitate towards a simple way out and you become consigned to darkness without a hand to hold.
With no simplicity, we have made our choice to never wear your broken crown even though we might crawl on our bellies in graceless twilight. But we will receive a unbroken crown for our humbled choices.
Because what you don’t understand is that even though darkness is ugly, your pride is hideous. We are better off admitting to our faults and accepting unearned grace than pretending that we have earned anything.
You must become utterly broken and humbled to realize how worthless you are and how you are no better than anyone else. It is better not to be blind to this fact; the choices we make to believe or not to believe, to act or not to act will have heavy impacts on us forever. It would be cruel to have to make these choices under clouded judgement.
As for now, how dare you speak of grace when you have not experienced the overwhelming comfort of it. Remove the veil you are wearing and let yourself be vulnerable and humbled so that you can be risen and glorified because of it.
Their crowns on top their heads lifted their chins and relaxed their shoulders back to give spectators a false sense of who they really were.
Gold only covered surface level regality; their minds were bound by a heavy weight adorned with jewels that their lovely kingdom praised as power.
People were praising with clouded judgement from a false sense of importance every hypocritic leader had in common.
Who are they to give their respect to and put blind trust into those who only seek spurious adoration.
A pattern that has lasted since the beginning of time. People made to worship, but with what limits do they willingly give away their god given power to worship.
When will they realize that there lies power and respect in delving into motives of those who request worship with nothing to back their claims.
They are all then doomed to continue a virulent way of living without noticing they have the power to question authority when it’s wrong.
Under the surface level of the gold they own and the title they hold and the color of their skin, there lies something similar in each human being that will always be clouded by insignificant treasures each of them tries to hoard for themselves to give them a false sense of power and authority contrary to how wisdom backs its own claims of respect.
He hadn’t noticed it until then; that what he thought was a law of science had broken previous proofs. It didn’t worry him, but only intrigued him to experiment with the possibility of a missing shadow and how his could have been stolen. His candle light flickered behind him and yet no traces of himself showed on the white wall in front of him. Dancing around the room, arms floating and feet jumping only planted worry deep in his chest. He came to a halt, heaving air in and out of his lungs. The only thought that stained inside of him was the question of his existence. Had he become a ghost in his own body, unable to interact with his surroundings or could there be an explanation as to why no shadow was cast. He felt lost.
He fell back onto his large bed and his small figure balanced on the edge of the chest at the foot of his bed and the quilt that covered his mattress. Gazing up at the ceiling, he noticed something out of the ordinary. A dark figure was staring back at him with the same posture as he. But it was not his. A foreign, broken shadow took place against his ceiling fan. Startled, the boy leapt from his bed and so did the shadow, finding a more comfortable position against the clean wall. Silence took over both figures, both shocked to be able to recognize each other’s presence.
“Well, there you are!” another boy exclaimed from the now open window in the corner. Both the little boy and the shadow leapt and when the boy looked back at the shadow, it had disappeared. The other boy, with long hair that grazed his eyes and feathers to accent his locks, leapt contradictory to gravity’s laws like he was flying and caught his own shadow in one move. The boy watched in awe, unnoticed. Once his shadow was in tight grip, the strange boy became aware he was being watched.
“Have you lost your shadow?” His words rang in the little boy’s ears and all he could afford to do was swallow rigidly and nod once before he felt the life inside of him drain and he fell back onto the bed, eyes begging to be saved. No empathy was shown against the stranger’s eyes and the last thing he heard was his missing shadow screaming from underneath him.
When realization struck her consciousness, the faint feeling of shivers ran down her spine and into the circular view around her. It wasn’t like real life where her physical touch could transpose the barriers around her and allow her to determine the effects of her existence. She was forced to act as an observer in her own consciousness around her. Sitting up only confused her previous state of sleep paralysis and her mind waivered slightly with burning contrast of her dreaming mind and the body she left asleep in bed. Her vision was placed at a rounded degree and when she looked down her body had dissipated and all that was left was a feeling of weightlessness that carried her immaterial body to hover. No tactile communication from any element broke through her missing state, only allowing her sight from the middle of a world which looked familiar in shape but felt distant in aspect.
Slowly her environment became tolerant of her actions and allowed for subtle change. Her invisible hand outstretched towards an old tree and the touch of the hard, brittle bark made contact with her palm. The trunk was rounded in her view like she had stepped inside a virtual world where the quality took on a different appearance when inside. The possibilities of interaction with the bubble world around her was infinite and the choices she made grew heavier consequences. From one place to another, she jumped and she jumped again within enormous amounts of space that defied time. She became so powerful and the excitement aroused her curiosity. How far could she go she thought and how much communication to objects could be made in this world that went around and around and around. The excitement of possibility finally stunned her body into freezing and like she had woken up from a dream, she came back to her dark room, laying flat on her back with eyes barely open. She had no more power at all. Screaming to move only made it worse and she drowned in the sweat that ran down from her forehead, downfallen into a state where she was at the mercy of time to set her free.
People say history is the one thing that makes life continue on. People learn from their mistakes and take note of events that change the world. Every little thing that takes place creates its own history with its life, changing pieces it leaves behind. It’s funny, though, how history works. No one realizes that history is being made in the present. People tend to dwell on past events they can’t change or wish for a brighter future but seldom reflect on the now.
When he smiled at her from across the crowd of people hurdling over their textbooks he never knew what would have come from it. A nice girl, with a bright smile and small nose looked up and met his gaze. He had never smiled like that at someone before. He came from a lonely home where the dead grass took its roots and chilly breezes stayed constant. His world was grey and the days were short. She was the opposite of his world, seemingly so distant yet offered a sense of home and warmth that took root in her eyes.
When worlds collide they create new ones. Shadows crossed paths and new life was brought into their new world through their existing ones. As time passed, they grew together under a spotted tree that would grow up with them. Though their time there was short, their moments there would create generations of change for the world. The people around the tree changed, but the tree stayed and grew as it watched new generations come and go. How wonderful it must have been for the tree to sit in one place and watch all these people come and go. It must have been smiling when it saw that young couple take a seat under its shade and talk for hours about their passions. However, to sit and watch through changing seasons was only a burden to the spotted tree as it could have no effect on what would happen to every single person that walked by it. The tree could only sit and watch.
From its one perspective of changing weather, the story must have seemed to have had a dreadful ending. The spotted tree had seen so many people full of love never return again as the winter grew harsh and the tree lost its leaves. But the young couple’s story persisted through the winter. She sat alone under its shade, writing letters. Through the speckled spots of sunlight shining through its leaves, the tree saw her write through the distance and reply back with eagerness and giddy smiles. What a love it had never seen before that not even distance could detach them.
Years past and still she persisted to write under the spotted tree every week no matter the weather. She wrote to him until he finally returned every week to sit with her. They grew old just as the tree had grown new branches and become more stable with time. As the tree was overtook with emotion, the young couple disappeared just as it had seen so many couples do before. They were never seen again by the tree they always sat under. All the hope and foundation that was laid upon them shook the tree into depression. It mourned the loss of hope of new worlds colliding. The tree stopped growing leaves and providing shade for anyone looking for relief from the heat. It started to lose life and its branches weighed towards the ground.
The spotted tree stood in the state of despair that slowed time to an everlasting hell. Not even breathing fresh air could have brought its limbs back to life. And just as the tree was taking its last breath it looked up upon a young girl, skinny like the boy and face features like the girl. She looked back at it with a tilted head and sat in the space that had been untouched for sixty years. Though the tree had nothing but bare branches to offer, she found comfort and support of the history its trunk held. She sat soundly underneath the tree as it died. She offered it the world she had grown up in as its dying gift. A new world that had been created by the same young couple who came together through every winter season and persisted to bring life into their collided world. It smiled for the last time in peace. It could finally rest knowing that love the boy and the girl provided for each other could still exist in the life they brought into their world.
~A reflection on a piece of art~
Curiosity; always comes with new life. Children are born with desire to understand the world around them and the life it contains. Caterpillars and ladybugs hold such fascination when they see them for the first time and they grow connection to this being that they imagine has life and emotions just as they do.
There is such innocence involved with the infatuation of all the little things the world holds. With age, patience becomes short and we lose interest in what we now see as mundane. To see the world through eyes that glisten at everything they touch is a blessing that fleets too quickly. And we never appreciate it until it is gone.
At a young age, life moves in time just as it seems it is supposed to. There is time for everything and everything has a time made for it. As we age, the ability to stop and imagine new things and become curious about what we can find new in old things starts to disappear. There is no time for what the world tells us does not deserve our time. There are better things to focus on and better ways to enhance ourselves. But what does life offer without curiosity and infatuation in the little things of everyday that we are told does not matter because they are too ordinary to think about.
When was the last time we held a caterpillar in our hands and took it into our care because we believed we could offer it the love it deserved or put all of our energy into saving a fallen bird because every life matters and has meaning or imagined ourselves a world within the one we live in to make life more interesting than the ordinary.
We don’t realize that imagination shouldn’t just stop when we believe everything does not deserve more curiosity and wonder than we’ve already given it. Imagination is what makes us more human than anything. I think this is why artists, writers, dancers, singers, musicians are so under appreciated by a general public. They see imagination and art as something not as important as other things like math and science. But artists create worlds and pour vulnerable emotions into their pieces that literally change the world just as a scientist could with a cure for a disease.
We should continue to encourage kids to be curious and creative alongside encouraging their knowledge in math and science. Because that tends to stop in middle school and students are left void of building their creative minds unless they are encouraged to do so. So we should equip them with these skills so that they may find their passions and have the opportunity to present themselves in the world with an open mind, free to pursue anything their minds could create.
Hello, here’s to new beginnings and sharing some pieces of me through writing.
In case you are curious, a little bit about me:
- I am currently a sophomore at The University of Alabama.
- I am majoring in Dance and Telecommunications & Film.
- I have a family of six (and a cat named Zeus).
- I am obsessed with music, movies, and dancing.
- Diet Coke, Coffee, Musicals, Owls, and Disney are all obsessions of mine.
- Filming, Writing, Graphic Design, Choreography, and Photography are all my mediums of showing my artistic creativity.
- My motto in life: You can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
Until next time,